office etiquette - Can I be friends with my boss?
Nupur Amarnath
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A decade ago, any HR professional worth hisher KRA sheet would have tut-tut ted at the idea of a friendship between a manager and hisher employees. How is one supposed to get work out of the minions and dole out orders if they think they are your friends, they'd rationalise. But not now. Companies are encouraging bosses to befriend their brethren. In the era of attrition and competition, bosses are the key differentiators in the retention game. Enter the friendly boss. He/she will take you out for drinks, foot the bill for team lunches and even send you a Facebook friend request.But with one caveat: he's friendly, not a friend.
THE BOSS IS IN
Befriending the boss may be common, but what you need to know is where to draw the line, says Swapnil Kamat, CEO of an executive education and training firm. Kamat's advice is to assess the boss' behaviour first. No two bosses are alike leadership styles are as diverse as the people leading. While some get the work done by creating camaraderie, some use the clique mentality and some just stay aloof, driving the team remotely. Assess how he/she behaves with you and some of their other reportees. Take your decision based on that. “Your professional equation shouldn't be affected because of or due to the lack of friendship,“ he says. Corporate grooming coach and etiquette trainer Suneeta Kanga says boss' friendships are different from regular workplace friendships.“You obviously can't be on back-slapping terms with himher. No touching, fist bumps or high fives,“ she says, “It's only a formal friendship.“
REQUESTING FRIENDSHIP
A study conducted by marketing firm Russell Herder found about a third of men who are connected to their supervisors on Facebook say the online relationship gives them a leg up at work. For one, peering into your boss' personal life gives you more to talk about offline. On the flip side, another study conducted by Robert Half International found 57% of managers feel uncomfortable when a staff member sends them a friend request.
But the boss calls the shots. Don't send him/her the request, let the first move come from that side. “As long as you are not berating your boss or your workplace across social media, it is perfectly acceptable to add your boss to your social networks,“ says Kamat.
Kanga suggests a fool-proof way to negotiate this conundrum: Have a double identity on Facebook. One work profile (with PRO as a suffix) and a personal one exclusively for people outside of office and never the twain shall meet. “Add the boss and even your office colleagues to your personal network if you maintain the proper digital profile,“ she says. This means: no rants, no minute-by-minute updates, no Facebook fighting, no silly forwards and 100 picture posts anything that can mar your impression professionally.
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